Drench Yourself in Words Unspoken
by TK7410
Summary: I went jogging in the down pour we had yesterday and about half a block in started to channel Johanna Mason...go figure! Spoilers for Mockingjay if you have not read the books. I think I will go this route with my story, The Ax and The Bow, but I needed to get some Joniss in while I had the motivation of the storm.
1. Chapter 1

The rain comes down one, large, threatening drop at a time. I've never been one to be afraid, especially with something as simple as water, but after the months I spent being tortured in the Capitol I think I've earned this one. I run my hand through my short, spiky hair; another reminder of my time there. It's now long enough where the bald spots have filled in and I can actually look like a functioning citizen of Panem. I lace my black, worn-in boots up giving them a secure tug before standing.

Annie must be at her parent's because the house is lacking a certain crying tiny human. Mason, something Finnick had made Annie promise him before he never came back, is a spitting image of his father. I swear sometimes he will smirk at me and it's like Finnick is in the room. My job is to make sure Mason grows up understanding how brave and amazing his father truly was. 'I miss him so much.'

I crack my neck from side to side, careful of my left where the kind folks of District 13 removed my shattered rib before it could puncture anything important like a vital organ. Every once and awhile, especially stormy days like today, the nerves in my shoulder and chest throb to remind me; I however bury the pain and memories as deep as emotionally possible. The only physical reminder is the forearm length scar running from my clavicle to my inner arm. Not my only scar but certainly the worst cosmetic reminder of my lovely stay in the Capitol.

I haven't ran in the rain since Katniss…since Everdeen was here less than a few months ago. She pushed me to understand that the rain wouldn't hurt me, that Snow couldn't do anything to me now, that we were all safe. But then she up and left just leaving a few scribbled words on a piece of paper for me to find the next morning. She couldn't do 'this' anymore and ran back to bread boy.

I take a deep breath, like my head doctor tells me to, and resist the urge to go to 12 and kill him. It's not his fault; we owe him our lives and I'm not too proud to admit that. I just can't understand why she felt like he deserved her. He's basically two different people now, a product of the torture he endured in the cell next to mine. I could hear him going nuts and I'm thankful that they only made me deathly afraid of water. You can avoid water more than you can avoid the multiple voices in your own head.

I reach in my closet blindly and my hand comes in contact with a smooth, almost tarp-like material. "Fuck." She left it, in the back of my closet. She probably doesn't even realize it's still here because she left in such a hurry. I pull out the black jacket she wore in her first Games. Parts of it have been singed off from the fireballs the Gamemakers used to push her toward the Careers. Other parts have dried blood and no way of telling it it's hers or another Tributes, like Rue's.

I hug what's left of it and realize it still smells like her. It also smells like me because she would make me wear it while we went out in the rain. Pine needles and coal dust; a scent that no other person would appreciate besides the two of us. I breathe in our mixed scent and close my eyes, quickly flashing to her naked body underneath mine in our once shared bed.

My eyes snap back open and I shake my head trying to rid the memories in the process. 'I cannot do this right now.' I throw the jacket around me noting the ill fit but being all too familiar with the body it was actually made for. I make my way to the front of the house and slowly open the door; I am hit with the punch of the salt coming off the ocean. It's quickly overpowered by the rain though and I find myself frozen in the door frame. I look around for her hand to guide me outside and to tell me it will be alright but she's not coming. I take one more deep breath and the rain starts pelting me like cold, harsh, individual reminders.

"My name is Johanna Mason. I survived two Games and aided in the Rebellion that freed us all. I was tortured because of my allegiance with the Mockingjay and the Rebellion. I was strapped to a chair sitting in a pool of dirty water. When they asked me a question and I told them to 'fuck off' they turned the switch that sent the highest voltage of electricity they could without killing me coursing through my body."

My thoughts start to drift; this is usually the part where my Mockingjay kisses me and pulls me back to District 4. Without her my mind is racing. 'Why did I think I was strong enough to do this on my own?' I need her. A large crack of light illuminates the sky and I crash to the ground in a panic.

"My name is Johanna…my name is Johanna Ma…my name is Johanna Maso…"

I am curled in a shaking ball while the rain comes down around me. Before I know it I am soaked through to my core and have thrown myself into a full blown panic attack. It's cold, I'm soaked, and I need her. The tears I start to cry blend in with the rain drops falling down my face. She makes me better, I need her. These are my last thoughts before I pass out. Well, that and the strong arms that have picked me up off the cold, wet ground.


	2. Chapter 2

"…I don't care! This isn't about us. She needs you and you just left! I know you can't accept that or acknowledge that you actually have feelings for her. You love her…we all know it…"

I'm bundled up in the warmest clothes I think I own and I still feel cold. I hear the male voice trying not to scream on the phone and realize that its hottie cousin. He must have be in District 4 to see Annie and Mason. He must have been the one to carry me inside. I force my eyes open and am comforted by the glow and warmth of the fire.

"Katniss, I swear I will come drag you…" the voice gets lower and I realize Annie must have told Gale to keep it down for Mason, and me. "You better," he snaps as he slams the phone back down.

"Gale, sweetie, you can't force her…she thinks she owes Peeta a chance."

"Annie, I know, trust me out of everyone I get it. But if all I was getting was pity while she was in love with someone else…I couldn't do it. Especially when there's someone I love."

The conversation gets quiet and I'm jealous. After all the trials and tribulations they've been through they found each other. He makes her smile and laugh, something very few people are capable of. She makes him softer and a better person. I let my eyes close and doze off imagining her wrapped around my body, protecting me in her strong, lean arms.

* * *

My senses are on overload. I can make out a faint scent of coal dust and my body starts to stir. As I start to move I realize that I'm wrapped up in someone's arms, very tightly. My eyes jolt open and I can't believe anything. She's here, holding me, like it was all a nightmare or something. I feel a chill as I hear the faint drops of the rain shower on the roof. It's all too real; she left me for him.

I start thrashing around trying to disengage her from around my body. I don't want her because she pities me.

"What? Jo…" she mutters and pulls herself closer "love."

I can't take it and I use all the force in my body to throw her off my bed.

"The fuck?!" she so eloquently reacts while rubbing her head.

I didn't mean to hurt her but I couldn't breathe. I start laughing and this pisses her off even more.

She just looks at me, rolling her eyes. "S'not funny," she tries to tell me upset but a tiny smile breaks.

"Oh I was only laughing because when we first met you would have never used such language, Everdeen. It's just nice to see I had some influence on you," I say as I lower my eyes. I start to feel her gaze and drop my head further.

"Johanna, Jo, if you think that's the only influence you've had on me then you're crazy."

I look up, eyebrows raised, "Um, I am, remember?"

She just laughs and I can't help but join in. I roll out of the bed and offer my hand to help her back up. Before I know it I'm being pulled down to the ground with her. My breath hitches in my throat when our lips are merely centimeters apart. Our breath is mingled together and I want to be mad at her and pull away. I have to keep reminding myself that she left when things got hard.

Before I can reason with myself enough my shy Katniss fills the distance and her lips are on mine. I missed this, this connection with her. The kiss starts out slow and sensual, just trying to explore each other's mouths again. She pulls me on top of her, her hands running through my short hair.

"I like it," she tells me in between kisses "it really suits you."

Her lips are back on mine before I can even respond, her tongue trying to reason with my lips for entrance. I part them and am ambushed by her strong yet gentle tongue. She is everywhere all at once in my mouth like she's trying to learn every inch of it again. I give her enough time to finish exploring and softly introduce my tongue into the mix. She softly moans and I bring her tongue into her mouth with mine.

It seems like only seconds, hours, and days all at once when we finally pull apart. Her hands are on my back, pushing me into her body while one of my hands is grabbing her hair and the other pinned on the floor next to her. She's breathing heavy just as I am. Her face is flushed and her pupils are dilated; I can only imagine that I am a mirror image of her. I take my hand from her hair and lightly stroke her cheek. She closes her eyes and sighs.

"I missed this, us," she whispers.

That's all it takes to snap me back to reality. "You left!" I spit at her.

Her gaze loses focus and she can't look at me. "Jo, I know…I, I got scared. You of all people should understand being scared."

I shake my head. Sure I don't do love or feelings but I have my reasons. She knows them all too and can even relate now that Prim is gone but it's still not an excuse.

"Katniss," I sigh "You left, after everything you just left. You wrote a few words on a piece of paper and snuck off in the middle of the night. That's all I'm worth?" I look at her, tears building up.

"I, I owed it to him. He was always there and he's getting better. I need…"

"Stop! Just stop it Katniss! I don't need to hear how you and bread boy made up and he's on his merry way to recovery. Some of us are still broken, you included."

I push myself off of her and sit with my back against the wall. "Did you sleep with him?" I whisper not having the courage to bring my eyes to meet hers.

I feel like we sit in silence for an eternity before she lets out a barely audible yes.

"Fuck you!" I'm shaking from anger and hurt. "You sleep with him, realize it's not going to work and just show up here like we are fine?!"

She nods, looking so broken. I cannot feel bad for her right now though. I put my head in my hands and start shaking more. "My name is Johanna Mason. My, my name is Johanna Mason…"

Katniss starts screaming and tries to focus on her name. "My name is Katniss Everdeen…"

The door swings open and Gale takes in the scene playing out before him. "God you two can't ever make things easy can you?" He meets my gaze and I see the understanding. She did the same thing to him, with me and Peeta. He helps me up and before I know it Annie is bringing me to her room.

"Catnip, what have you done?" I hear Gale ask before Annie closes her door and I absolutely lose it.


End file.
